ESL @ Movie Quotes: May 2009

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Happy Feet (2006)

Happy Feet is a 2006 film about a penguin who can't sing, in a society which finds soul mates through song. Instead, he can dance, leading to friction in his colony.

Directed by George Miller. Written by Warren Coleman, John Collee, George Miller, and Judy Morris

Warning: May Cause Toe-Tapping

Mumble

Don't ask me to change, Pa. Because I can't.
(attempting to sing) Twinkle twinkle little (grating squawking) STAAAR!
(to Mrs. Astrakhan) I'm being spontan-you-us.

Lovelace

Ladies, please avert your eyes... because I've been known to hypnotize. You've heard the voice. Now you're about to meet the one-and-only Lovelace in the flesh, right here, right on, right now.

There is a POWER that makes me STAND upon this TOWER!

ENOUGH! You bring this stranger before me?! He doubts my powers! He compares me to a skua! The voices are shrieking inside my head - they're sayin' "Lovelace! Who is this fool?! Tell him! Tell him to go f- (slight pause) forth and multiply! (Crowd gasps) Come to think of it... why don't we all go forth... and multiply?"

I will retire now to my couch of perpetual indulgence. OK ladies, who's first?

(yelling at a pair of orcas that tried to eat him) ENOUGH! Tis a bad day fo' you! You dealin' with LOVELACE now, and my man Mumble here! BEGONE, demon fish-a! Adios-a. Andiamo-hah. That's right! Boo-hoo; you high-tail it back to yo mamas. Don't make me come in the watah! I'll come after your sons and daughtahs! (fast: "I'm gonna give you the bad eye"; breaks into gibberish.)

Testify to that... Right on...

(How tall do you think that tall boy was?) Who can say? Taller than anyone.

HEY! It's me, Lovelace; formerly known as Guru! I'm gonna be tellin' your story, Happy Feet! Long after you dead and gone!

Ramon

Kiss my frozen tushie! Kiss it, kiss it!
(mocking the retreating leopard seal) He's leaving. OH NO, THAT WAS HIS FACE!
(repeated line) Mommy, mommy, mommy.
(after hearing Mumble sing) Yeah, I once heard an animal do that, but then they rolled him over, he was dead.
I know size may be daunting, but do not be afraid... I love you. I LOVE YOU!
(afraid to jump off a cliff) I can do this, I can do this... I can trick myself! (pointing to the sky on the edge of the cliff) Boy, look at that! What? (falls and shrieks)
How are we gonna tell his mama he bring us all this way just to kill himself?
I like big tails and I can't deny!
Wait a second. I hear people wanting something... (everyone leans in to listen) ME!
(repeated line) Let me tell something to ju.... ["Ju" is "You"]
We got personality with a capital "Y". Why? Because we're hot!
(to the penguins after they banish Mumble) We sing the heart of our true friend, Mumble! You are a nation of peeny-weeny, piffling piccolini, piddily-diddily POOFT!
(after coming up with an idea) Okay, lets take a moment for myself: bow down, bow down. Okay, stop. I feel the love.
(mocking leopard seal) He's coming! We better move in half an hour! (Slowly) Lets get out of here!

Noah the Elder

Raise your voices, brothers! Give praise to the Great 'Guin, who put songs in our hearts and fish in our bellies!
(to the colony who were dancing) It is this kind of backsliding that has brought the scarcity upon us!
So it follows. Dissent leads to division and division leads us to doom! You, Mumble Happyfeet, must go!
Raise your voices, brothers! Cry out in defiance of this jiggity-joggity! For when all others leave ... WE REMAIN!

Gloria

(pecking Mumble's egg) Is it empty? Can I have it?
Come back here, Mr. Mumble!
(after Mumble drives her away) Ugh! You stubborn, hippity-hoppity fool!

Miss Viola

A penguin without a heart song is hardly a penguin at all!
If anyone can Mrs. Astrakhan can.

Memphis

I wouldn't do that around folks, son. It just ain't penguin.
If we are devout, sincere in our praise, the fish will return.

Norma Jean

Boys! Give a chick a chance.
Don't you take one step, sweetheart. You have as much right to be here as any of these daffy old fools.

Boss Skua

[to Mumble] The flipper boids - that's you - eat the fish. The flying boids - that's me - eat the flipper boids and the fish. And lately, there ain't a lot of fish.
[telling Mumble about how he got the yellow tag on his leg] I got two words for you, kid: Alien abduction.

Dialogue

(after Mumble fails at his singing lessons)

Mumble: Hey, y'know what? I can leave school! I can go to work! The three of us...

Memphis: Whoa whoa whoa, little fella. You ain't going nowhere until you've got yourself an education. Get them singing muscles big and strong. You got that?

Mumble: I'll try, pa.

Memphis: You bet you will. The word "triumph" starts with "try" and it ends with -

Mumble: "Umph"!

Memphis: That's right - a great big "umph"!

Leopard Seal: (to Mumble) Come here, sausage. I take you with ketchup.

Ramon: But first you need to catch up!

Leopard Seal: Remember, dumplings, I know where you live...

Raul: It's called LAND, lard-face!

Nestor: Rub round any time, blubber-butt!

Mumble: (to the leopard seal) See you, fatty!

(The Amigos pause and look at Mumble for a moment)

Raul: That's cool! "See you, fatty!"

(The Amigos laugh)

Ramon: Chica chica, boom! (the four other Amigos join in with a hip thrust action) Boom, boom, boom, boom!

Mumble: You're not interested in chicas?

Ramon: You kidding?! Without us, the chicas got no BOOM!

Lovelace: Hear me! There's not enough love in the world. Turn to the penguin next to you, put your flippers up, fluff him up a little bit and give him a great big hug!

Raul: (to Ramon) What you huggin' me for?!

Ramon: He told me to.

Raul: Get away!

Ramon: No, you like it...

Nestor: Get off him, Ramon.

Ramon: You've just got to do exactly what I say!

Mumble: Okay.

Ramon: Did I say "okay"?

Mumble: No.

Ramon: What did I say?

Mumble: Do exactly what you say.

Ramon: EXACTLY...what I say!

(after Mumble drives Gloria away)

Nestor: Amigo, that is a good thing you do.

Ramon: She is going to be so much better off without you. She is going to find a good steady guy to comfort her...

(Raul attempts to slap him, but misses)

Ramon: ...and love her up real good and raise a big family, then she gone let herself go...

Rinaldo: Ramon. RAMON! He's hurting. He's hurting bad.

Lombardo: Why would Lovelace help?

Raul: He not like you at all.

Mumble: I'll just appeal to his better nature.

Nestor: How you gonna do that?

Raul: Cruel and unusual punishment?

Lombardo: Unimaginable torture?

Ramon: Imaginable torture?

Rinaldo: Your singing?

Ramon, Nestor, Raul and Lombardo: NO!!!

Rinaldo: (imitates Mumble's singing) Can anybody find meeeeeeeeee?

Lombardo: Ohhh...you breaking the ice!

Ramon: Avalanche!

Mumble: Yes, okay, thank you...

Mumble: Excuse me. What is this place?

Penguin: [in a HAL 9000-like voice] You're in Heaven, Dave - Penguin Heaven.

Mumble: Is it anywhere near Emperor Land?

Penguin: It's wherever you want it to be. Try the water, Dave. It's really real.

(Mumble eventually succumbs to madness in the zoo and "sees" and hears his family and friends on a wall.)

Norma Jean: So you found the fish, baby?

Mumble: (turns to look at the wall) Ma?

Norma Jean: Hi, sweetie.

Mumble: Ma!

Ramon: Fluffy! No matter what they say or do, we never stop believing in you.

Other Amigo: So, you'll be back soon?

Norma Jean: Hey, c'mon! Let him eat.

Gloria: Go ahead, Dave. Don't mind us.

Mumble: But there's plenty for everyone!

Norma Jean: It's OK, sugar. We can wait.

(The vision begins to melt and fade.)

Mumble: No, no! Ma! Ma! Th-there's, th-there's lots here! There's enough for everyone! MA!

(Mumble tries to throw a fish to his mother. It hits the wall and falls off, but he keeps trying desperately.)

Noah: You lead the aliens here? You turned them on your own kind?!

Gloria: Wait a second. You just said there's no such thing as aliens.

Noah: ...Well, there's not. But if there were, only a traitorous fool would bring them here!

Mumble: But they have to come! They're the ones taking our fish. They can do something about it.

Noah: None but the Great 'Guin hath the power to give and take away!

Mumble: But the Great 'Guin didn't put things out of whack, the aliens did!

Noah: A fool returns this day to mock our suffering! We are starving and he wants us to hippity-hop! So! Do we hold fast to our ways? Or do we bend to the fetid fantasies of a dancing fool?!

Songs

Check it out… (repeats x3)
Yo soy Raúl, pingüino mas cool
Latino por supuesto 100% español
My brothers, ¿Qué?
Loco me llaman, una senorita me enciende como flama
La fiesta, baila, baila muchachita, mi corazon tiene dinamita
BA BOOM!
¡Exacto! You're so beatiful to me, baby! ¿Dejame ser tu papi pingüino?
¡Booyaka, booyaka!

Taglines

Warning: May Cause Toe-Tapping.
Everybody Dance Now!
What's Your Heartsong?

all

The 50 Worst Cars of All Time	All-TIME Best 100 Albums
All Eyes on Genocide	All-Star Game
dog eat all your paper towels ...	ALL-STAR GAME / A midsummer classic ...
can't we all just ...	What? Like y'all ain't seen a girl having a nervous breakdown
He Could Kill Us All	It's All About Angles

1 You use all to indicate that you are referring to the whole of a particular group or thing or to everyone or everything of a particular kind.
...the restaurant that Hugh and all his friends go to...
He lost all his money at a blackjack table in Las Vegas.

All is also a determiner.
There is built-in storage space in all bedrooms...
85 percent of all American households owe money on mortgages...
He was passionate about all literature.

All is also a quantifier.
He was told to pack up all of his letters and personal belongings...
He was talking to all of us.

All is also a pronoun.
We produce our own hair-care products, all based on herbal recipes...
I'd spent all I had, every last penny.
[PRON] n PRON v
All is also an emphasizing pronoun.
Milk, oily fish and egg all contain vitamin D...
We all admire professionalism and dedication.
2 [DET] DET sing-n
You use all to refer to the whole of a particular period of time.
George had to cut grass all afternoon...
She's been feeling bad all week.
[PREDET] PREDET det sing-n
All is also a predeterminer.
She's worked all her life...
He was looking at me all the time.
[QUANT] QUANT of def-n
All is also a quantifier.
He spent all of that afternoon polishing the silver...
Two-thirds of the women interviewed think about food a lot or all of the time.
3 [PRON]
You use all to refer to a situation or to life in general.
All is silent on the island now...
As you'll have read in our news pages, all has not been well of late.
4 [ADV] ADV prep/adv
You use all to emphasize that something is completely true, or happens everywhere or always, or on every occasion.
He loves animals and he knows all about them...
Parts for the aircraft will be made all round the world...
I got scared and I ran and left her all alone...
He was doing it all by himself...
5 [PRON]
You use all at the beginning of a clause when you are emphasizing that something is the only thing that is important.
He said all that remained was to agree to a time and venue...
All you ever want to do is go shopping!...
All I could say was, `I'm sorry'.
6 [DET] in DET n-uncount
You use all in expressions such as in all sincerity and in all probability to emphasize that you are being sincere or that something is very likely.
In all fairness he had to admit that she was neither dishonest nor lazy...
7 [ADV] amount ADV
You use all when you are talking about an equal score in a game. For example, if the score is three all, both players or teams have three points.
8 [ADV] ADV the adv/adj-compar
All is used in structures such as all the more or all the better to mean even more or even better than before.
The living room is decorated in pale colours that make it all the more airy...
9 [PRON]
You use all in expressions such as seen it all and done it all to emphasize that someone has had a lot of experience of something.
...women who have it all: career, husband and children...
Here's a man who has seen it all, tasted and heard it all.
10 [PHRASE] PHR with cl/group
You say above all to indicate that the thing you are mentioning is the most important point.
Above all, chairs should be comfortable...
11 [PHRASE] PHR with cl
You use after all when introducing a statement which supports or helps explain something you have just said.
I thought you might know somebody. After all, you're the man with connections.
12 [PHRASE]
You use after all when you are saying that something that you thought might not be the case is in fact the case.
I came out here on the chance of finding you at home after all...
13 [PHRASE] n PHR
You use and all when you want to emphasize that what you are talking about includes the thing mentioned, especially when this is surprising or unusual.
He dropped his sausage on the pavement and someone's dog ate it, mustard and all.
14 [PHRASE] PHR with cl
You use all in all to introduce a summary or general statement.
We both thought that all in all it might not be a bad idea...
15 [PHRASE]
You use at all at the end of a clause to give emphasis in negative statements, conditional clauses, and questions.
Robin never really liked him at all...
16 [PHRASE] PHR n
All but a particular person or thing means everyone or everything except that person or thing.
The general was an unattractive man to all but his most ardent admirers...
17 [PHRASE] PHR -ed
You use all but to say that something is almost the case.
The concrete wall that used to divide this city has now all but gone...
18 [PHRASE] PHR n
You use for all to indicate that the thing mentioned does not affect or contradict the truth of what you are saying.
For all its faults, the film instantly became a classic.
= despite
19 [PHRASE] PHR with cl
You use for all in phrases such as for all I know, and for all he cares, to emphasize that you do not know something or that someone does not care about something.
For all we know, he may even not be in this country...
You can go right now for all I care.
20 [PHRASE] V inflects
If you give your all or put your all into something, you make the maximum effort possible.
He puts his all into every game.
21 [PHRASE] PHR with cl, amount PHR
In all means in total.
There was evidence that thirteen people in all had taken part in planning the murder.
22 [PHRASE] amount PHR, PHR with cl
If something such as an activity is a particular price all in, that price includes everything that is offered. (mainly BRIT INFORMAL)
Dinner is about £25 all in.
23 [PHRASE] PHR with superl
You use of all to emphasize the words `first' or `last', or a superlative adjective or adverb.
First of all, answer these questions...
Now she faces her toughest task of all.
24 [PHRASE] PHR n
You use of all in expressions such as of all people or of all things when you want to emphasize someone or something surprising.
They met and fell in love in a supermarket, of all places.
25 [PHRASE]
You use all in expressions like of all the cheek or of all the luck to emphasize how angry or surprised you are at what someone else has done or said.
Of all the lazy, indifferent, unbusinesslike attitudes to have!
26 [PHRASE] PHR amount
You use all of before a number to emphasize how small or large an amount is.
It took him all of 41 minutes to score his first goal...
27 [PHRASE] PHR with brd-neg, PHR adj/adv
You use all that in statements with negative meaning when you want to weaken the force of what you are saying. (SPOKEN)
He wasn't all that older than we were...
28 [PHRASE] cl PHR
You can say that's all at the end of a sentence when you are explaining something and want to emphasize that nothing more happens or is the case.
`Why do you want to know that?' he demanded.--`Just curious, that's all.'
29 [PHRASE] v-link PHR
You use all very well to suggest that you do not really approve of something or you think that it is unreasonable.
It is all very well to urge people to give more to charity when they have less, but is it really fair?

happening for a whole period of time:◆ He's worked hard all year. ◆ She was unemployed for all that time.
Ellis Boyd 'Red' Redding : Nothing left but all the time in the world to think about it.
Brooks : I'm tired of being afraid all the time.

pronoun
The whole number or amount: ◆ All of the food has gone. ◆ They've eaten all of it. ◆ They've eaten it all. ◆ I invited some of my colleagues but not all. ◆ Not all of them were invited. ◆ All of them enjoyed the party. ◆ They all enjoyed it. ◆ His last movie was best of all.
Red :He never said who did it, but we all knew.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Star Wars (1977)

Title : Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

Plot keywords :
* Death Star * Empire * Planet * Princess * Robot
* Rescue * Rebellion * Uncle * Desert * Farm

Taglines :
It's Back! (re-release)
May the Force be with you (re-release)
The force will be with you (re-release)
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
Coming to your galaxy this summer. (Teaser poster)

Luke Skywalker

But I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters!

[to C-3PO] If there's a bright center of the universe, you're on the planet that it's farthest from.

[to Obi-Wan, after the Empire kills his guardians and burns the farm] I want to come with you to Alderaan. There's nothing for me here now. I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi like my father.

I have a very bad feeling about this.

[to Leia] I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you!

It's not impossible. I used to bullseye womprats with my T-16 back home. They're not much bigger than two meters.

Red Five standing by.

This is Red Five, I'm going in.

You worry about those fighters, I'll worry about the tower!

We're going in full throttle, that oughtta keep those fighters off our back.

Nothing. I'm alright.

C-3PO

[Repeated line] We're doomed.

Don't you call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease! Now come on before somebody sees you.

[To R2-D2] We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life.

Go that way! You'll be malfunctioning within a day, you nearsighted scrap pile. And don't let me catch you following me, begging for help, because you won't get it!

[hearing shouts coming from the garbage chute] Listen to them! They're dying, R2. Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough. It's all my fault. My poor master.

Hang on tight, R2. You've got to come back. You wouldn't want my life to get boring, would you?

R2-D2, it is you, it IS you!

[To R2-D2] Do you think they'll melt us down?

[first lines, to R2-D2] Did you hear that? They shut down the main reactor! We'll be destroyed for sure! This is madness!

[Looking at the damaged R2-D2] If any of my circuits or gears will help, I'll gladly donate them.

Obi-Wan Kenobi

[responding to the legend that Obi-Wan-Kenobi was dead] Oh, he's not dead...not yet.

[talking about Anakin Skywalker] He was the best starpilot in the galaxy, and a cunning warrior. I understand you've become quite a good pilot yourself. And he was a good friend. Which reminds me, I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it. He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damned-fool idealistic crusade like your father did.

Your father's lightsaber. [Hands it to Luke] This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster. [Luke turns it on and begins swinging it around while Ben continues.] An elegant weapon, for a more civilized age. For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times. Before the Empire.

A former Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi Knights. He betrayed and murdered your father.

The Force is what gives a Jedi his powers. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us, penetrates us, it binds the galaxy together.

You must do what you feel is right, of course.

They didn't. But we are meant to think they did. These tracks are side by side. Sandpeople always ride single file to hide their numbers.

And these blast points, too accurate for Sandpeople. Only Imperial stormtroopers are so precise.

Mos Eisley spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.

These aren't the droids you're looking for.

I feel a great disturbance in the Force. As if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

In my experience, there's no such thing as luck.

You've taken your first step into a larger world.

[as the Millennium Falcon approaches the Death Star] That's no moon...it's a space station.

Who's the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?

Your destiny lies along a different path from mine.

Only a master of evil, Darth.

You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

Use the Force, Luke. Let go, Luke. Luke, trust me.

Remember, the Force will be with you. Always.

Han Solo

Sorry about the mess.

Watch your mouth, kid, or you're gonna find yourself floating home.

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, boy.

Look, good against remotes is one thing. Good against the living, that's something else.

[After shooting a communications console] Boring conversation anyway. Luke, we're gonna have company!

[referring to Leia] Wonderful girl! Either I'm gonna kill her or I'm beginning to like her.

Marching into the Detention area is not what I had in mind!

What an incredible smell you've discovered!

I've got a bad feeling about this.

[Inside garbage compactor about to be crushed] One thing's for sure, we're all gonna be a lot thinner.

[to the crew] Don't worry. She'll hold together! [quietly] Hear me, baby, hold together.

[after Luke shoots a TIE fighter] Great, kid! Don't get cocky.

You know, sometimes I amaze even myself.

May the Force be with you.
- Note: ranked #8 in the American Film Institute's list of the top 100 movie quotations in American cinema.

You're all clear, kid! Now let's blow this thing and go home!

I hope that old man got that tractor beam out of commission or this is going to be a real short trip. Okay, hit it!

Great shot, kid! That was one in a million!

(After settling his debt with Jabba the Hutt) Jabba, you're a wonderful human being.

Better her than me!

[to Greedo] Yes, I'll bet you have. [shoots him]

Yahoo!

Hey, you think a princess and a guy like me-?

Princess Leia Organa

Darth Vader. Only you could be so bold. The Imperial Senate will not sit still for this. When they hear you've attacked a diplomatic… [interrupted by Darth Vader]

Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.

General Kenobi. Years ago, you served my father in the Clone Wars. Now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the Empire. I regret that I am unable to present my father's request to you in person, but my ship has fallen under attack and I'm afraid my mission to bring you to Alderaan has failed. I have placed information vital to the survival of the Rebellion into the memory systems of this R2 unit. My father will know how to retrieve it. You must see this droid safely delivered to him in Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.

Governor Tarkin! I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought onboard.

The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.

[to Luke, who's disguised as a Stormtrooper] Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?

This is some rescue! You came in here and you didn't have a plan for getting out?

Into the garbage chute, flyboy!

[to Han] Listen, I don't know who you are, or where you came from, but from now on, you do as I tell you. Okay?

[referring to Chewbacca] Will somebody get this big walking carpet out of my way?

[seeing the Millennium Falcon for the first time] You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought.

We, uh, ran into some old friends.

[to Han] You needn't worry about your reward. If money is all that you love, then that's what you'll receive! [to Luke] Your friend is quite a mercenary. I wonder if he really cares about anything...or anybody.

[to Han] Hey, I knew there was more to you than money.

Would it help if I got out and pushed? (as Millenium Falcon's hyperspace jumper broke)

Darth Vader

Where are those transmissions you intercepted? What have you done with those plans?

Commander, tear this ship apart until you have found those plans, and bring me the passengers! I want them alive!

Leave that to me.

(to Princess Leia) You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! Take her away!

(While choking Admiral Motti) I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Don't underestimate the Force.

(To Obi-Wan) When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the master!

Your powers are weak, old man.

This day will be long remembered. It has seen the end of Kenobi, and will soon see the end of the Rebellion.

The Force is strong with this one.

[chasing down Luke in the Death Star trenches] I have you now. [is suddenly hit from behind] What?!

Grand Moff Tarkin

[to Leia] Charming to the last. You don't know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your life.

You may fire when ready.

She lied to us!

Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances. [just before the Death Star is blown up]

Opening Crawl

It is a period of civil war.
Rebel spaceships, striking
from a hidden base, have won
their first victory against
the evil Galactic Empire.

During the battle, Rebel
spies managed to steal secret
plans to the Empire's
ultimate weapon, the DEATH
STAR, an armored space
station with enough power to
destroy an entire planet.

Pursued by the Empire's
sinister agents, Princess
Leia races home aboard her
starship, custodian of the
stolen plans that can save her
people and restore
freedom to the galaxy....

Dialogue

[Darth Vader is choking Captain Raymus Antilles]

Stormtrooper: The Death Star plans are not in the main computer.

Darth Vader: Where are those transmissions you intercepted? What have you done with those plans?

Captain Antilles: [gasping for breath] We intercepted no transmissions. This is a consular ship. We're on a diplomatic mission—-

Darth Vader: [unconvinced] If this is a consular ship, where is the Ambassador? [crushes the Captains neck and then throws him against the wall] Commander, tear this ship apart until you've found those plans, and bring me the passengers. I want them alive!

Princess Leia Organa: [smirking] Darth Vader. Only you could be so bold. The Imperial Senate will not sit still for this. When they hear you've attacked a diplomatic—

Darth Vader: Don't act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren't on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you.

Princess Leia Organa: I don't know what you're talking about. I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan--

Darth Vader: You are a part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! [to the Stormtroopers] Take her away!

[Leia is taken away]

Imperial Officer: [to Vader] Holding her is dangerous. If word of this gets out, it could generate sympathy for the rebellion in the Senate.

Darth Vader: I have traced the Rebel spies to her. Now she is my only link to finding their secret base.

Imperial Officer: She'll die before she'll tell you anything.

Darth Vader: Leave that to me.

C-3PO: [confused] As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure what planet I'm on.

Luke Skywalker: Well, if there's a bright center of the universe, you're on the planet that it's farthest from.

[After R2-D2 runs away to find Obi-Wan Kenobi]

Luke: You know, that little droid is going to get me into a lot of trouble.

C3PO: Oh, he excels at that, sir.

Luke Skywalker: [regarding R2-D2] Uh, he claims to be the property of an Obi-Wan Kenobi. Is he a relative of yours; do you know who he's talking about?

Ben Kenobi: Obi-Wan Kenobi. Obi-Wan. Now that's a name I've not heard in a long time. A long time.

Luke Skywalker: I think my uncle knows him. He said he was dead.

Ben Kenobi: [smiling] Oh, he's not dead. Well, not yet.

Luke Skywalker: You know him?

Ben Kenobi: Well, of course I know him. He's me. I haven't gone by the name of Obi-Wan since, oh, before you were born.

Luke Skywalker: Well, then the droid does belong to you?

Ben Kenobi: I don't seem to remember ever owning a droid. Very interesting.

[Several Sandpeople yelp in the distance]

Ben Kenobi: We'd best get indoors. The Sandpeople are easily startled, but they'll soon be back, and in greater numbers.

Luke Skywalker: No, my father didn't fight in the wars. He was a navigator on a spice freighter.

Ben Kenobi: That's what your uncle told you. He didn't hold with your father's ideals. Thought he should have stayed here and not gotten involved.

Luke Skywalker: You fought in the Clone Wars?

Ben Kenobi: Yes, I was once a Jedi Knight the same as your father.

Luke Skywalker: I wish I'd known him.

Ben Kenobi: He was the best starpilot in the galaxy, and a cunning warrior. I understand you've become quite a good pilot yourself. And he was a good friend. Which reminds me, I have something here for you. You father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it. He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damned-fool idealistic crusade like your father did.

C-3PO: Sir, if you'll not be needing me, I'll close down for awhile.

Luke Skywalker: Sure, go ahead.

[C-3PO shuts down.]

Luke Skywalker: [to Ben] What is it?

Ben Kenobi: Your father's lightsaber. [Luke ignites it, and begins wielding it while Ben continues.] This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster. An elegant weapon, for a more civilized age. For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times. Before the Empire.

Luke Skywalker: [turns off the lightsaber] How did my father die?

Ben Kenobi: A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi Knights. He betrayed and murdered your father. Now the Jedi are all but extinct. Vader was seduced by the dark side of the Force.

Luke Skywalker: The Force?

Ben Kenobi: The Force is what gives a Jedi his powers. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us, penetrates us, it binds the galaxy together. [to R2-D2] Now, let's see if we can't figure out who you are, my little friend. And where you come from.

Luke Skywalker: I saw part of the message he was—

[R2-D2 abruptly begins playing Leia's holographic message]

Ben Kenobi: I seem to have found it.

Princess Leia Organa: [in a hologram message] General Kenobi. Years ago, you served my father in the Clone Wars. Now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the Empire. I regret that I am unable to present my father's request to you in person, but my ship has fallen under attack and I'm afraid my mission to bring you to Alderaan has failed. I have placed information vital to the survival of the Rebellion into the memory systems of this R2 unit. My father will know how to retrieve it. You must see this droid safely delivered to him in Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope. [looks to the side quickly, then crouches to end the message]

Ben Kenobi: [to Luke] You must learn the ways of the Force if you're to come with me to Alderaan.

Luke Skywalker: Alderaan? I'm not going to Alderaan. I've got to go home. It's late, I'm in for it as it is.

Ben Kenobi: I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I'm getting too old for this sort of thing.

Luke Skywalker: I can't get involved! I've got work to do! It's not that I like the Empire, I hate it, but there's nothing I can do about it right now. It's such a long way from here.

Ben Kenobi: That's your uncle talking.

Luke Skywalker: Oh God, my uncle. How am I ever gonna explain this?

Ben Kenobi: [pleading] Learn about the Force, Luke.

Luke Skywalker: Look, I can take you as far as Anchorhead. You can get a transport there to Mos Eisley or wherever you're going.

Ben Kenobi: [resigned] You must do what you feel is right, of course.

General Tagge: Until this battle station is fully operational, we are vulnerable. The Rebel Alliance is too well equipped! They're more dangerous than you realize.

Admiral Motti: Dangerous to your starfleet, Commander, not to this battle station.

General Tagge: The Rebellion will continue to gain a support in the Imperial Senate--

Grand Moff Tarkin: [walking in with Darth Vader] The Imperial Senate will no longer be of any concern to us. I have just received word that the Emperor has dissolved the council permanently. The last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away.

General Tagge: That's impossible! How will the Emperor maintain control without the bureaucracy?

Grand Moff Tarkin: The regional governors now have direct control over their territories. Fear will keep the local systems in line. Fear of this battle station.

General Tagge: And what of the Rebellion? If the Rebels have obtained a complete technical readout of this station, it is possible, however unlikely, that they might find a weakness and exploit it.

Darth Vader: The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands.

Admiral Motti: Any attack made by the Rebels against this station would be a useless gesture, no matter what technical data they've obtained. This station is now the ultimate power in the universe! I suggest we use it.

Darth Vader: Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

Admiral Motti: Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Vader. [Vader walks toward Motti, then slowly raises his hand] Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes [begins to sound strained] or given you clairvoyance enough to find the Rebels' hidden fort-- [grasps his throat as if he is being choked]

Darth Vader: I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Grand Moff Tarkin: Enough of this. Vader, release him!

Darth Vader: As you wish. [drops his hand and Motti's head hits the table as he regains his breath]

Grand Moff Tarkin: This bickering is pointless. Now Lord Vader will provide us with the location of the hidden Rebel fortress. We will then crush the Rebellion with one swift stroke.

Luke Skywalker: It looks like Sandpeople did this, all right. Look, here are Gaffi sticks, Bantha tracks. It's just I never heard of them hitting anything this big before.

Ben Kenobi: They didn't. But we are meant to think they did. These tracks are side by side. Sandpeople always ride single file to hide their numbers.

Luke Skywalker: These are the same Jawas that sold us R2 and 3PO.

Ben Kenobi: And these blast points, too accurate for Sandpeople. Only Imperial stormtroopers are so precise.

Luke Skywalker: But why would Imperial troops slaughter Jawas? If they traced the droids here, they may have learned who they sold them to and that would lead them back... [suddenly worried] home! [runs for the speeder]

Ben Kenobi: Wait, Luke! It's too dangerous!

[Luke boards the speeder and takes off]

[After the stormtroopers destroy Luke's farm and family]

Obi-Wan Kenobi: You could have done nothing had you been there. You would've been killed too, and the droids would be in the hands of the Empire.

Luke Skywalker: I want to come with you to Alderaan. There's nothing for me here now. I want to learn the ways of the Force and be a Jedi, like my father before me.

[Luke, Ben and the droids are entering Mos Eisley and are stopped by Imperial stormtroopers.]

Sandtrooper: How long have you had these droids?

Luke Skywalker: About three or four seasons.

Ben Kenobi: They're for sale if you want them.

Sandtrooper: Let me see your identification.

Ben Kenobi: (waving his hand slowly) You don't need to see his identification.

Sandtrooper: [pauses] We don't need to see his identification.

Ben Kenobi: These aren't the droids you're looking for.

Sandtrooper: These aren't the droids we're looking for.

Ben Kenobi: He can go about his business.

Sandtrooper: You can go about your business.

Ben Kenobi: Move along.

Sandtrooper: [gesturing] Move along! Move along!

[The group enters the spaceport and parks near the cantina. A Jawa takes interest in Luke's landspeeder.]

C-3PO: I can't abide those Jawas. Disgusting creatures!

Luke Skywalker: [shooing Jawa away] Go on. Go on. I can't understand how we got past those troops. I thought we were dead!

Ben Kenobi: The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded.

[Luke and Ben sit down at the cantina. Luke is accosted by a hostile alien, accompanied by Dr. Evazan.]

Dr. Evazan: He doesn't like you.

Luke Skywalker: Sorry.

Dr. Evazan: I don't like you either! You just watch yourself! We're wanted men. I have the death sentence on twelve systems.

Luke Skywalker: I'll be careful.

Dr. Evazan: You'll be dead!

Ben Kenobi: [stepping in] This little one's not worth the effort. Now let me get you something.

[Dr. Evazan attacks Luke; Ben pulls out his lightsaber and cuts off the arm of the first hostile alien.]

[Ben and Luke are meeting Han for the first time]

Han Solo: Han Solo. I'm captain of the Millennium Falcon. Chewie says you're looking for a passage to the Alderaan system.

Ben Kenobi: Yes indeed, if it's a fast ship.

Han Solo: Fast ship? You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?

Ben Kenobi: No. Should I have?

Han Solo: It's the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs. I've outrun Imperial starships, not the local bulk-cruisers, mind you. I'm talking about the big Corellian ships now. She's fast enough for you, old man. What's the cargo?

Ben Kenobi: Only passengers. Myself, the boy, two droids, [seriously] and no questions asked.

Han Solo: What is it, some kind of local trouble?

Ben Kenobi: Let's just say we'd like to avoid any Imperial entanglements.

Han Solo: Well that's the real trick, isn't it? And it's gonna cost you extra. Ten thousand, all in advance.

Luke Skywalker: [shocked] Ten thousand!? We could almost buy our own ship for that!

Han Solo: But who's gonna fly it, kid? You?

Luke Skywalker: You bet I could! I'm not such a bad pilot myself. C'mon, we don't have to sit here and... [Ben calms down Luke]

Ben Kenobi: We'll pay you two thousand now, plus fifteen when we reach Alderaan.

Han Solo: Seventeen? [Ben nods] Okay, you guys got yourselves a ship. We'll be ready when you are. Docking Bay 94.

Ben Kenobi: 94.

Han Solo: Looks like someone's interested in your work.

[Ben and Luke leave the cantina]

Ben Kenobi: You'll have to sell your speeder.

Luke Skywalker: That's okay. I'm never coming back to this planet again.

Greedo: [Speaking in Rodese] Going somewhere, Solo?

Han Solo: Yes, Greedo. As a matter of fact, I was just going to see your boss. Tell Jabba that I've got the money.

Greedo: It's too late. You should have paid him when you had the chance. Jabba's put a price on your head, so large that every bounty hunter in the galaxy will be looking for you. I'm lucky I found you first.

Han Solo: Yeah, but this time I've got the money.

Greedo: If you give it to me, I might forget I found you.

Han Solo: I don't have it with me! Tell Jabba--

Greedo: Jabba's through with you! He has no time for smugglers who drop their shipments at the first sign of an Imperial cruiser.

Han Solo: Even I get boarded sometimes, do you think I had a choice?

Greedo: You can tell that to Jabba. He may only take your ship.

Han Solo: Over my dead body!

Greedo: That's the idea. I've been looking forward to this for a long time.

Han Solo: Yes, I'll bet you have. [shoots Greedo from underneath the table, killing him]

Jabba the Hutt: [Speaking in Huttese] Solo! Come on out of there, Solo! Solo!

Han Solo: Right here, Jabba. I've been waitin' for ya.

Jabba: Have you now?

Han Solo: Didn't think I was gonna run, did ya?

Jabba: Han, you disappoint me. Why haven't you paid me, and why did you have to fry poor Greedo?

Han Solo: Look Jabba, next time you wanna talk to me, come see me yourself. Don't send one of these twerps.

Jabba: Han, Han. If only you hadn't had to dump that shipment of spice. I just can't make exceptions. Where would I be if every pilot who smuggled for me dumped their shipment at the first sign of an Imperial starship? It's not good business.

Han Solo: Look Jabba, even I get boarded sometimes. [steps on Jabba's tail, making him cry out in irritation] You think I had a choice?! But I've got a nice, easy charter now and I can pay you back, plus a little extra. I just need a little more time.

Jabba: Han, my boy, you're the best. So, for an extra 20%--

Han Solo: Fifteen, Jabba. Don't push it.

Jabba: Okay, fifteen. But if you disappoint me again, I'll put a price on your head so big, you won't be able to go near a civilized system!

Han Solo: [dryly] Jabba, you're a wonderful human being.

[Luke sees the Millennium Falcon for the first time]

Luke Skywalker: What a piece of junk!

Han Solo: She'll make point five past lightspeed. She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid. I've added some special modifications myself. But we're a little rushed, so if you'll just get onboard, we'll get outta here.

[The Millenium Falcon is speeding away from Tatooine, being chased by Imperial cruisers]

Han Solo: Stay sharp! There are two more coming in. They're going to try to cut us off.

Luke Skywalker: Why don't you outrun them? I thought you said this thing was fast!

Han Solo: Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home! We'll be safe once we make the jump to hyperspace. Besides, I know a few maneuvers. We'll lose them. This is where the fun begins.

Ben Kenobi: How long before you make the jump to lightspeed?

Han Solo: It'll take a few moments to get the coordinates from the navicomputer.

Luke Skywalker: [frantic] Are you kidding? At the rate they're gaining?—

Han Solo: Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, boy! Without precise calculations we could fly right through a star or bounce too close to a supernova and that'd end your trip real quick, wouldn't it?

Luke Skywalker: [points to an alarm on the control panel] What's that flashing?

Han Solo: We're losing our deflector shield! Go strap yourself in, I'm going to make the jump to light speed.

Princess Leia Organa: Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought onboard.

Grand Moff Tarkin: Charming to the last. You don't know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your life.

Princess Leia Organa: [sarcastically] I'm surprised you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself.

Grand Moff Tarkin: Princess Leia, before your execution, you will join me at a ceremony that will make this battle station operational. No star system will dare oppose the Emperor now.

Princess Leia Organa: The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.

Grand Moff Tarkin: Not after we demonstrate the power of this battle station. In a way, you have determined the choice of the planet that is to be destroyed first. Since you are reluctant to provide us with the location of the Rebel base, I have chosen to test this station's destructive power on your home planet of Alderaan.

Princess Leia Organa: [shocked] No! Alderaan is peaceful, we have no weapons. You can't possibly—

Grand Moff Tarkin: You would prefer another target? A military target?! Then name the system! [stepping closer to Leia and pinning her against Darth Vader] I grow tired of asking this, so it will be the last time. Where is the Rebel base?

Princess Leia Organa: [looks at Alderaan for a moment, then, resigned] Dantooine. They're all on Dantooine.

Grand Moff Tarkin: There you see, Lord Vader? She can be reasonable. Proceed with the operation. You may fire when ready.

Princess Leia Organa: [furious] What?!

Grand Moff Tarkin: You're far too trusting. Dantooine is too remote to make an effective demonstration, but don't worry. We will deal with your rebel friends soon enough.

[The Death Star destroys Alderaan]

[Ben sits down as if weakened]

Luke Skywalker: Are you all right? What's wrong?

Ben Kenobi: I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of people cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I feel something terrible has happened.

[R2-D2 is playing a chess-like game against Chewbacca, who roars after one of his creatures is defeated.]

C-3PO: He made a fair move! Screaming about it won't help you.

Han Solo: Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a Wookiee.

C-3PO: But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid.

Han Solo: That's 'cause a droid don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiees have been known to do that.

[Chewbacca leans back with his hands folded behind his head, for effect.]

C-3PO: [considering] I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, R2. Let the Wookiee win.

[Luke is training with his lightsaber and a laser remote aboard the Millenium Falcon.]

Ben Kenobi: Remember, a Jedi can feel the Force flowing through him.

Luke Skywalker: You mean it controls your actions?

Ben Kenobi: Partially, but it also obeys your commands.

[Luke gets shot by the remote.]

Han Solo: [laughs] Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.

Luke Skywalker: You don't believe in the Force, do you?

Han Solo: Kid, I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful Force controlling everything. There's no mystical energy field that controls my destiny. It's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.

Ben Kenobi: [gets up and takes a blast helmet] I suggest you try it again, Luke. This time, let go your conscious self and act on instinct. [puts the helmet on Luke, which covers his eyes]

Luke Skywalker: But with the blast shield down, I can't even see! How am I supposed to fight?

Ben Kenobi: Your eyes can deceive you. Don't trust them.

[After Luke has successfully defended against several shots from the laser remote]

Luke Skywalker: You know, I did feel something. I could almost see the remote.

Ben Kenobi: That's good. You've taken your first step into a larger world.

Imperial Officer: Our scout ships have reached Dantooine. They found the remains of a Rebel base, but they estimate that it has been deserted for some time. They are now conducting an extensive search of the surrounding systems.

Grand Moff Tarkin: [furious] She lied! She lied to us!

Darth Vader: I told you she would never consciously betray the Rebellion.

Grand Moff Tarkin: Terminate her. Immediately!

[The Falcon jumps out of hyperspace into a dense field of rocks and debris.]

Han Solo: What the—?

Luke Skywalker: What's going on?

Han Solo: Our position is correct, except, no Alderaan.

Luke Skywalker: What do you mean? Where is it?

Han Solo: That's what I'm trying to tell you, kid. It ain't there. It's been totally blown away.

Luke Skywalker: What?! How?

Ben Kenobi: [grimly] Destroyed. By the Empire.

Han Solo: The entire star fleet couldn't destroy the whole planet. It'd take a thousand ships with more fire power than I've... There's another ship coming in!

Luke Skywalker: Maybe they know what happened.

[A TIE fighter flies over the cockpit]

Ben Kenobi: It's an Imperial fighter.

Luke Skywalker: It followed us!

Ben Kenobi: No, it's a short-range fighter.

Han Solo: There aren't any bases around here. Where did it come from?

Luke Skywalker: It sure is leaving in a big hurry. If they identify us, we're in big trouble.

Han Solo: Not if I can help it. Chewie, jam its transmissions.

Ben Kenobi: It'd be as well to let it go. It's too far out of range.

Han Solo: Not for long.

Ben Kenobi: A fighter that size couldn't get this deep into space on its own.

Luke Skywalker: He must have gotten lost, been part of a convoy or something.

Han Solo: Well, he ain't going to be around long enough to tell anyone about us.

Luke Skywalker: Look at him. He's headed for that small moon.

Han Solo: I think I can get him before he gets there. He's almost in range.

Ben Kenobi: [with sudden realization] That's no moon. It's a space station.

Han Solo: It's too big to be a space station.

Luke Skywalker: I have a very bad feeling about this.

Ben Kenobi: Turn the ship around.

Han Solo: Yeah. I think you're right...

[The Falcon suddenly gets trapped in the Death Star's tractor beam]

Han Solo: They're not going to get me without a fight.

Ben Kenobi: You can't win, but there are alternatives to fighting.

Luke Skywalker: [Getting out of a hole in the Falcon's floor] It's lucky you had these things.

Han Solo: These are for smuggling, but I never thought I'd be smuggling myself. This is ridiculous. Even if I could take off, I'd never get past the tractor beam.

Ben Kenobi: Leave that to me.

Han Solo: Damn fool, I knew you were going to say that.

Ben Kenobi: Who's more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows him?

Luke Skywalker: You know, between his howling and your blasting everything in sight, it's a wonder the whole station doesn't know we're here.

Han Solo: Bring them on! I prefer a straight fight to all this sneaking around!

[R2-D2 is attempting to locate the tractor beam power source.]

Luke Skywalker: What is it?

C-3P0: I'm afraid I'm not quite sure, sir. He says "I found her", and keeps repeating, "She's here."

Luke Skywalker: Well...who? Who has he found?

C-3P0: Princess Leia.

Luke Skywalker: The princess? She's here?

Han Solo: Princess?

Luke Skywalker: Where? Where is she?

Han Solo: Princess? What's going on?

C-3P0: Level 5, Detention block AA23. I'm afraid she's scheduled to be terminated.

Luke Skywalker: Oh, no! We've got to do something!

Han Solo: What are you talking about?

Luke Skywalker: The droid belongs to her. She's the one in the message! We've got to help her!

Han Solo: Now, look, don't get any funny ideas. The old man wants us to wait right here.

Luke Skywalker: But he didn't know she was here. Look, will you just find a way back into the detention block?

Han Solo: I'm not going anywhere.

Luke Skywalker: They're going to execute her! Look, a few minutes ago you said you didn't want to just wait here to be captured. Now all you want to do is stay?

Han Solo: Marching into the detention area is not what I had in mind.

Luke Skywalker: But they're going to kill her!

Han Solo: Better her than me!

Luke Skywalker: [pauses for a moment, then leans in close to Han] She's rich.

Han Solo: [suddenly interested] Rich?

Luke Skywalker: Rich. Powerful. Listen, if you were to rescue her, the reward would be...

Han Solo: What?

Luke Skywalker: Well, more wealth than you can imagine!

Han Solo: I don't know, I can imagine quite a bit!

Luke Skywalker: You'll get it.

Han Solo: I better.

Luke Skywalker: You will.

Han Solo: All right, kid. But you'd better be right about this.

Han Solo: This is not gonna work.

Luke Skywalker: Why didn't you say so before?

Han Solo: I did say so before!

[Han, Luke and Chewbacca have just decimated the Imperial troops in the detention block.]

Intercom: What's going on down there? Come in!

Han Solo: Uh, everything is under control. Situation normal.

Intercom: What happened?

Han Solo: [flustered, improvising] Uh, had a slight weapons malfunction. But, uh, everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?

Intercom: We're sending a squad up.

Han Solo: Uh, uh, negative, negative. We had a reactor leak here now. Give us a few minutes to lock it down. Large leak...very dangerous.

Intercom: [frustrated] Who is this?? What's your operating number?

Han Solo: Uh... [shoots the intercom] Boring conversation anyway. [yelling down the corridor] Luke, we're gonna have company!

[Luke, dressed as a stormtrooper, opens the door to Leia's detention cell.]

Princess Leia Organa: Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?

Luke Skywalker: Huh? Oh, the uniform. [removes his helmet] I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you!

Princess Leia Organa: You're who?

Luke Skywalker: I'm here to rescue you! Look, I've got your R2-unit and I'm here with Ben Kenobi!

Princess Leia Organa: [getting up] Ben Kenobi? Where is he?!

Darth Vader: He is here.

Grand Moff Tarkin: Obi-Wan Kenobi. What makes you think so?

Darth Vader: A tremor in the Force. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master.

Grand Moff Tarkin: Surely he must be dead by now.

Darth Vader: Don't underestimate the Force.

Grand Moff Tarkin: The Jedi are extinct. Their fire has gone out of the universe. You, my friend, are all that's left of their religion. [An intercom beeps, which Tarkin answers] Yes?

Intercom: We've received an alert in Section AA23.

Grand Moff Tarkin: The princess? Put all stations on alert!

Darth Vader: Obi-Wan is here. The Force is with him.

Grand Moff Tarkin: If you are right, he must not be allowed to escape.

Darth Vader: Escape is not his plan. I must face him, alone.

Princess Leia Organa: This is some rescue! You came in here, and you didn't have a plan for getting out?

Han Solo: He's the brains, sweetheart!

Luke Skywalker: Well, why don't you—

[Leia grabs Luke's blaster and blasts a hole into a nearby grating.]

Han Solo: What the hell are you doing?!

Princess Leia Organa: Somebody has to save our skins! [shoots at stormtroopers] Into the garbage chute, flyboy! [tosses Luke the blaster and jumps in hole]

Han Solo: [to Chewbacca] Get in there! [Chewbacca is apprehensive] Get in there, you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell! [Chewbacca dives in] [to Luke] Wonderful girl (Leia)! Either I'm going to kill her, or I'm beginning to like her! Get in there! [Luke dives into the garbage shoot, followed by Han]

Han Solo: If we just avoid any more female advice, we ought to be able to get out of here.

Luke Skywalker: Well, let's get moving.

Princess Leia Organa: Listen, I don't know who you are, or where you came from, but from now on, you do as I tell you. Okay?

Han Solo: Look, Your Worshipful-ness, let's get one thing straight. I take orders from just one person: me!

Princess Leia Organa: Then it's a wonder you're still alive. [about Chewbacca] Will somebody get this big walking carpet out of my way?

Han Solo: [to himself] No reward is worth this!

Luke Skywalker: Whoop! I think we took a wrong turn.

[Stormtroopers blast at Luke and Leia. Leia shuts the door.]

Princess Leia Organa: There's no lock!

[Luke blasts the control panel.]

Luke Skywalker: That oughta hold them for a while.

Princess Leia Organa: Quick! You've got to get across. Find the controls that extend the bridge.

Luke Skywalker: I think I just blasted it.

Princess Leia Organa: They're coming through!

[Kenobi and Vader duel]

Darth Vader: I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner. Now, I am the master!

Ben Kenobi: Only a master of evil, Darth!

Darth Vader: Your powers are weak, old man.

Ben Kenobi: You cannot win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

Darth Vader: You should not have come back.

Luke Skywalker: [shoots down a TIE Fighter] I got him. I got him!

Han Solo: Great kid! Don't get cocky.

Han Solo: [to Leia] Look, I ain't in this for your revolution, and I'm not in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well paid. I'm in it for the money.

Princess Leia Organa: You needn't worry about your reward. If money is all that you love, then that's what you'll receive! [to Luke] Your friend is quite a mercenary. I wonder if he really cares about anything...or anybody. [leaves]

Luke Skywalker: I care. [sits down next to Han] So, what do you think of her, Han?

Han Solo: I'm trying not to, kid.

Luke Skywalker: Good.

Han Solo: Still, she's got a lot of spirit. I don't know, what do you think? You think a princess and a guy like me--

Luke Skywalker: No.

[Luke and Han are about to go their seperate ways; Luke is upset that Han still plans to leave after receiving his reward]

Han Solo: What good is a reward if you ain't around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station ain't my idea of courage. It's more like...suicide.

Luke Skywalker: [resigned] All right. Well, take care of yourself, Han. [bitterly] I guess that's what you're best at, ain't it? [starts to leave]

Han Solo: Hey, Luke! [Luke stops and turns to face him] [forced] May the Force be with you.

Biggs Darklighter: I've got to get aboard. I'll tell your stories when we come back. All right?

Luke Skywalker: Hey Biggs, I told you I'd make it someday.

Biggs Darklighter: It will be like old times, Luke. They'll never stop us.

Mechanic: This R2 unit looks a little beat up. You want a new one?

Luke Skywalker: [smiles] Not in your life. That little droid and I have been through a lot together.

Red Leader: All wings report in.

Red Ten: Red Ten standing by.

Red Seven: Red Seven standing by.

Biggs Darklighter: Red Three standing by.

Porkins: Red Six standing by.

Red Nine: Red Nine standing by.

Wedge Antilles: Red Two standing by.

Red Eleven: Red Eleven standing by.

Luke Skywalker: Red Five standing by.

Red Leader: Lock S-foils in attack position.

Rebel Officer: Squad leaders. We picked up a group of signals. Enemy fighters heading this way.

Squad Leaders: I don't see them.

Squadron Leader: Pick up your visual scanning. Here they come.

[Vader is about to hit Luke's X-Wing]

Darth Vader: I have you now!

[The Falcon makes a surprise appearance at the Death Star, taking out Vader's wingmen]

Darth Vader: What?!

Han: Yahoo!

"Arrested Development" (2003)

Title : Arrested Development

Plot keywords :
* Dysfunctional Family * Self Referential * Narrator * Sitcom * Magician
* Cousin * Cult Favorite * Spoiled Child * Single Father * Uncle

Taglines :
Get Arrested
Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together.

Season 1

Pilot [1.1]

Michael: I thought Buster had everything under control. I thought you've been going in to the office.

Buster: Yes, and I've enjoyed that. It's just that I was constantly being called to the phone, or I was asked a question, or I was resuscitated and it was really hard to get a good work flow going.

Michael: Okay, guys, um... they are going to keep Dad in prison at least until this gets all sorted out. Also, the attorney said that they’re going to have to put a halt on the company’s expense account. [The others gasp.] Interesting. I would’ve expected that after "They’re keeping Dad in jail."

Top Banana [1.2]

George Sr.: This is my vacation, Michael.

Michael: You're doing time, Dad.

George Sr.: I'm doing the time... of my life!

Gob: I should be in charge. I’m the older brother.

Michael: Do you even want to be in charge?

Gob: No... but I'd like to be asked!

Bringing Up Buster [1.3]

George Sr.: [regarding Buster] Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. But he was her "miracle baby." And I — I was just too burnt out on raising you guys to care. So ... he turned out a little soft, you know... a little doughy... I dunno. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe. Maybe I just ignored the guy. [the camera slow zooms out to show Buster sitting between Michael and George Sr.]

Buster: [After yawning for a long time] Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we?

Gob: Let me ask you something. Is this a business decision, or is it personal? 'Cause if it's business I'll go away happily. But if it's personal, I'll go away... but I won't be happy.

Michael: It's personal.

Key Decisions [1.4]

Lindsay: I care deeply for nature.

Michael: You're wearing ostrich-skin boots.

Lindsay: Well, I don't care about ostriches.

Lucille Bluth: I'll be in the hospital bar.

Michael: Uh, you know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother.

Lucille: Well, this is why people hate hospitals.

Visiting Ours [1.5]

Gob: Take off your glasses. Oh... wait, wait. Let down your hair. No: glasses on, hair back up. Let's just get that hair right back up.

Kitty: Let me turn the lights off.

Gob: Yes, yes, please.

Kitty: How's that? Is that better?

Gob: It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door.

George Sr.: I just haven't had sex in a month.

Michael: You know, you've been here two months.

George Sr.: It's hard to gauge time.

Michael: Yeah, I'll bet.

Charity Drive [1.6]

Michael: Come on, face it. You just do all this charity crap just to stroke your ego. You don't even know what the auction's for tonight.

Lindsay: The wetlands.

Michael: To do what with them?

Lindsay: Dry them.

Michael: Save them.

Lindsay: From drying.

Lindsay: Look, I screwed up, ok? I'm lost, and I hate them. I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane, Michael.

In God We Trust [1.7]

[at the prison]

Barry Zuckerkorn: Are all the guys in here... you know? [referencing gay inmates]

George Sr.: Oh, no, no. No, not all of them.

Barry Zuckerkorn: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope.

George Sr.: Hope?

Barry Zuckerkorn: Think.

Lucille: Oh, what'd she do, get you drunk?

Michael: No, we just, uh, well... we — we did drink a little bit. How'd you know that?

Lucille: Because that's what she said she'd do. I said you wouldn't give her the money, and she said, "He will if I get him drunk." Probably because she thinks you're a cheap bastard. Oh... her words.

My Mother, The Car [1.8]

Michael: Hey, Mom. Remember we had that conversation about trying to cut back on things that aren't necessities?

Lucille: Like it was yesterday.

Michael: It was this morning.

Lucille: You're my third least favorite child.

Michael: I can live with that.

Storming the Castle [1.9]

Buster: And I'm going to continue dating, Mom.

Michael: It sounds a little bit like "dating Mom."

Buster: It's starting to feel a little like it.

Michael: Since when are you against leather?

Maeby: Yeah, you're not even a vegetarian.

Lindsay: Well, I'm not against the insides. I mean, people need meat to survive.

Michael: You are aware they don't remove it surgically, right?

Pier Pressure [1.10]

Lucille: [to Lindsay] I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

Maeby: [working with Lucille] This is so much fun. I can't believe my mom thought being here would be a punishment.

Lucille: Oh, she thinks I'm too critical. That's another fault of hers.

Public Relations [1.11]

Jessie: We need to make Michael the new face of the Bluth company. He's the only likable one in the bunch, no offense.

Michael: None taken.

Jessie: There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town.

Tobias: Well, that certainly leaves me out.

[Everyone looks at Tobias]

Tobias: You said single, right? She said single.

Marta Complex [1.12]

Gob: Oh, I see. She wants to talk to you. For some reason women feel safe around you. Maybe it's because you've only had sex four times.

Michael: Not four times, four women! And they talk to me because I talk to them!

Lucille 2: Buster, this is exactly why our relationship does not work.

Buster: Our relationship doesn't work?

Lucille 2: No, not as long as you keep getting me all mixed up with your mother.

Buster: It is exactly the opposite. I'm leaving my mother for you. You're replacing my mother.

Lucille 2: Well, that's healthy.

Beef Consommé [1.13]

Barry Zuckerkorn: It would help if you would all show up looking like a loving, supportive family.

Lucille: For how long?

Barry Zuckerkorn: Ten minutes tops.

Lucille: See if you can get it down to five.

Gob: [to Michael] Tell you what. You may not be good with women, but you are great with other people's women. I'll give you that.

Shock and Aww [1.14]

Lindsay: It's George Michael, he told me. I think he wants a mother.

Michael: Well that's ridiculous. He's got you, he's got our mother. You'd think that would turn him off to the entire concept.

Lucille: I don't have the milk of mother's kindness in me anymore.

Michael: Yeah. That udder's been dry for a while though, hasn't it?

Staff Infection [1.15]

Lindsay: Well, you and I have different management styles. I believe work should be fun, and you try to crush people's spirits. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose?

Buster: I’m a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits.

Lucille: Suddenly, playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit.

Missing Kitty [1.16]

George Sr.: What are you doing firing Kitty? You can't fire Kitty. First of all, you don't have hiring and firing power.

Michael: I do, and I had to — she's crazy.

George Sr.: Well, that's why you don't fire her. You don't fire crazy. You never fire crazy.

Lindsay: Where's Nana?

Lucille: I sent her on a wonderful cruise. You just missed a wonderful call from her. She just came back from a wonderful costume party that the captain threw. She gained ten pounds, there's so much food on that boat. She's up to 74. She tried pesto for the first time. Imagine that, 92 years old and she never tried pesto. It was wonderful. Just wonderful.

Narrator: In fact, Lucille's mother had been dead for six months.

Altar Egos (1) [1.17]

Michael: I'm not a one-night stand kinda guy, I don't like lying to women.

Gob: These are lawyers. That's Latin for liar.

Michael: Boy, the lengths you'll go to sleep with a woman.

Gob: Believe me, we didn't do any sleeping. I had sex last night.

Narrator: But he really didn't.

Gob: Yes, I did.

Justice is Blind (2) [1.18]

Gob: And now you love the Ten Commandments. And yet you're the one who so conveniently forgot "Thou shalt protect thy father and honor no one above him unless it be-ith me, thy sweet Lord."

Michael: I'm not sure that one made it down the mountain, Gob.

Maggie: So, what about us? We were starting to establish some trust. Except for all the lies.

Best Man for the GOB [1.19]

Gob: I've got the marriage and none of the good parts. It's like so far it's been all chain and no ball.

Tobias: As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.

Michael: Really? When did that start?

Tobias: Well, I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help.

Whistler’s Mother [1.20]

George Sr.: Michael, this is my brother. Do you know what it's like to have a sibling who has no source of income except for you?

Michael: Just one? No, no idea. It sounds wonderful, though.

Wife of Gob: I'm in love with your brother-in-law.

Gob: You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army?

Wife of Gob: No, your sister's husband.

Gob: Michael? [angrily] Michael!

Wife of Gob: No, that's your sister's brother.

Gob: No, I'm my sister's brother. [happily] You're in love with me — me!

Wife of Gob: I'm in love with Tobias.

Gob: My brother-in-law?

Wife of Gob: I know it can never be, so I'm leaving. I'm enlisting in the army.

Gob: To be with your brother.

Wife of Gob: No!

Not Without My Daughter [1.21]

Lindsay: Well, they expect a certain amount of theft, Michael. It's built into the price. If I didn't take it, then people would be overpaying for nothing.

Michael: Lindsay, new outfit?

Lindsay: This? No, I've had this for years. I think it's a hand-me-down from Mom.

Michael: You got a price tag. Right there.

Lindsay: Is there? I guess she wanted me to have something new. Sweet old thing.

Michael: Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me. And where did you get that outfit?

Lindsay: Old thing got it for me.

Let 'Em Eat Cake [1.22]

Gob: The zero hour, Michael. It's the end of the line. I'm the firstborn. Sick of playing second fiddle. Always third in line for everything. Tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. [thinks for a moment] There are six things I'm mad about, and I'm taking over.

Michael: I might not be the best witness either. I got a call from Kitty this morning.

Barry Zuckerkorn: Your secretary?

George Sr.: My secretary.

Michael: She says that she's got some evidence and she's threatening to bring down the company unless we meet her demands.

Gob: Oh, that is just great. Now I'm expected to climb back on top of Kitty and do my thing again. I mean, this family runs into problems and it's "Oh, let's have Gob [bleep] our way out of it."

Season 2

The One Where Michael Leaves [2.1]

Gob: I’ve got the proof, Michael. Dad’s signed contract with Saddam.

Buster: [whispers] Hussein.

Tobias: You know, Lindsay, as a therapist, I have advised...

[falls off the bed]

Tobias: ...a number of couples to explore an open relationship where the couple remains emotionally committed, but free to explore extra-marital encounters.

Lindsay: Well, did it work for those people?

Tobias: No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but... but it might work for us.

The One Where They Build A House [2.2]

Lucille: It’s not fair to Buster. He’s a nervous wreck right now. He’s going into the Army, for God’s sake.

Michael: You volunteered him.

Lucille: I knew you were going to throw that in my face.

Lucille: I want you out of the house.

Oscar: Oh, I want you everywhere.

Amigos [2.3]

Michael: We have a private eye, huh?

Lucille: Oh, I hired him a hundred years ago to find out if your father was cheating on me. He never did find anything.

Michael: Well, he can’t be very good then.

Narrator: Buster was finding himself right at home.

Buster: Oh, my God! I used to have a shirt just like that.

Narrator: It was Buster’s old shirt. Lucille had given it to Lupe.

Buster: And the hand chair! I had one in my room! I wonder where that went.

Narrator: It went right there.

Buster: [touching his hand chair] I'd never thought I'd miss a hand so much.

Good Grief [2.4]

Maeby: Is there any way I can divorce them?

Barry: Oh, sure. It’s called emancipation. But you’ve got to prove that you’re living in an unstable environment.

Maeby: Both my parents are trying to have affairs. Of course, they haven’t succeeded yet.

Lindsay: You know, it’s funny, all those years when I pretended to cry I used to use Dad’s death to get me going. I tried it with Mom’s, but I’d just end up smiling and ruining it.

Sad Sack [2.5]

Oscar: God willing, he’ll fail boot camp.

Michael: Well, why wouldn’t he? He already failed day camp.

Gob: I’m the pathetic one, Buster, not you. I totally freaked out in front of that prosecutor today. Like a little girl. In a little dress. Little saddle shoes. Little pigtails.

Buster: Wow, that does sound like a little girl.

Afternoon Delight [2.6]

Lindsay: No, you’re not going to that. You see, if I show up with you, it’ll just make me seem like I’m a mother.

Maeby: I’ve never thought of you that way.

Lindsay: That’s sweet.

Gob: I did the right thing, Michael. If I don't fire them, how do I teach a lesson to the others?

Michael: There are no others. You fired everyone.

Switch Hitter [2.7]

Lucille: Get me a vodka rocks.

Michael: Mom, it’s breakfast.

Lucille: And a piece of toast.

Sitwell: The only thing I ask is, out of the 450 homes we build, one be given to a disadvantaged family from the inner city.

Gob: That’s great. So the other 449 families live in fear? Is that what we’re saying?

Queen For A Day [2.8]

Michael: Maybe it’s time you got out there and started meeting people. You know? Meeting women. Meeting women who didn’t give birth to you.

Gob: So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It’s, like, die already!

Burning Love [2.9]

Lindsay: Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free.

Lucille: Really? Did "nothing" cancel?

Tobias: My wife is humiliated. This is my chance to right the small wrong that I did.

Michael: You shot her in the ass with about four ounces of horse tranquilizer.

Tobias: I haven’t been the perfect husband — yes, I admit that. But now is my chance to be a hero.

Ready, Aim, Marry Me [2.10]

Lucille: She’d love to get at me any way she could. That’s why she’s been flirting with Gob. She’s trying to prove that she’s closer to my children than I am, but the joke’s on her, because she doesn’t know how little I care for Gob.

Michael: I think that makes the joke on Gob.

Tobias: Well, Michael, you really are quite the Cupid, aren’t you? I tell you, you can zing your arrow into my buttocks any time.

Michael: Okay, you know what you do? You buy yourself a tape recorder, you just record yourself for a whole day. I think you’re going to be surprised at some of your phrasing.

Tobias: Butterscotch! Want a lick?

Out on a Limb [2.11]

[Note: this is the delete scene version]

Gob: And I'm going to need help getting out of this marriage.

Barry: Oh, well, I got Michael out of his marriage, didn't I?

Michael: Actually, she died.

Barry: Yeah! We killed her. [moves to give a high-five]

Michael: No, she actually died.

Barry: You're kidding. I've been taking credit for that for years.

Tobias: You know, mother Lucille, there's a psychological concept known as denial that I believe you're evincing. It's when a thought is so hateful that the mind literally rejects it.

Lucille: You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law, and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent.

Tobias: Well if she's not going to say anything, I certainly can't help her.

Hand to God [2.12]

Michael: Mom, after all these years, God’s not going to take a call from you.

Narrator: Neither he nor Gob were prepared for the challenges of using cats to catch a seal.

Motherboy XXX [2.13]

Gob: The cow is coming after me.

Michael: Your wife? She was super-thin.

Gob: She was? What about her cans? She have big cans?

Michael: You don't remember her at all, do you?

Gob: Hey, it was one night of wild passion!

Michael: And yet you didn't notice her body?

Gob: I like to look in the mirror.

Lindsay: Oh, God. Not that "I’m in love with my mother" dance thing. I’m so glad there wasn’t one of those for daddies and daughters.

Lucille: Of course they have father-daughter dances.

Lindsay: They do? He never took me?

Lucille: It was before we did your nose. Too-da-loo.

Immaculate Election [2.14]

Michael: So then, he’s more popular than George Michael?

Maeby: Well, that’s like comparing apples and some fruit nobody’s ever heard of.

Lindsay: If you weren’t all the way on the other side of the room, I’d slap your face.

The Sword of Destiny [2.15]

Buster: Hey! I'm finally being treated like a real person. Not some deformed...

Gob: Ah! Hook. I forgot about that there, Elephant Man. We'll have to find something to do so that people can look at you without wanting to kill themselves.

Lucille: My baby is sick, but Mother is here to nurse you.

Michael: Well, now I’m a little sicker.

Meat the Veals [2.16]

George Michael: Ann just called. They had a pre-dawn mass. Then they were going to mass, so...

Michael: Ann’s got a great deal of mass.

Michael: I think they are too young to get involved that seriously.

Rev. Veal: My wife and I were about the same age when we got engaged.

Michael: [Glancing at the reverend's wife] Well, yeah, you've gotta lock that down.

Spring Breakout [2.17]

Gob: Well, gee, I never thought the woman I'd be checking out at spring break would be Mom.

Buster: She's better looking than the whores you date.

Gob: Don't call my escorts "whores."

Buster: Mom's still got it!

Gob: I DON'T DATE WHORES!

Lindsay: Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop.

Michael: It’s just Mom and whores.

Lucille: Oh, please. I’ve been drinking since before you were born. So if alcohol’s the reason I’m here, I got news for you, bub. It’s the only reason you’re here, too.

Michael: Hey, look at that. You’re mean sober, too.

Righteous Brothers [2.18]

Gob: Why don’t you get Gob to do your dirty work for you? Shall I knock Dad out and chain him to a pipe somewhere, or should I risk another herpes outbreak with Kitty? Which is it this time, Michael?

Michael: Well, definitely neither of those two things.

Narrator: Gob had hidden his father under a house that had just collapsed.

Gob: [Seeing George Michael and Maeby] Children - you're small. Crawl under there.

Season 3

The Cabin Show [3.1]

Gob: Pardon me if I don't burst into tears, Michael. At least he promised to take you. [bursts into tears] He just let me blindly enjoy my childhood! [sobbing] I didn't even know there was a cabin... he wasn't taking me to!

Gob: Well, I will tell you this, Michael. I don't have a son...

Narrator: He does.

Gob: ... but if I ever do, I'm either going to take him to the cabin in the woods or I'm going to promise to take him and then not take him. But the one thing that I will never do is not tell him that I'm taking him to a cabin in the woods and then not take him.

Narrator: Gob was growing up.

For British Eyes Only [3.2]

Michael: We've got a picture of you with Saddam Hussein.

George, Sr.: I thought, I thought that was the guy who played the Soup Nazi. I told him how much I liked his work.

Michael: Great. I was wondering if you might be willing to go somewhere with me. I would pay you.

Rita: You’ll pay me?

Michael: Not... not for sex. You’re going to think that I’m Jack the Ripper, right? Didn’t he kill prostitutes or...?

Rita: I’m not a prostitute.

Michael: Then I shall let you live.

Forget-Me-Now [3.3]

Gob: Steve Holt's not my son.

George Michael: Steve Holt? The moron jock?

Gob: That's my son, you pothead!

Narrator: Michael did try again with Rita, but this time determined to keep no secrets.

Michael: I want to tell you everything if... if you're willing to listen.

Rita: I'm a very good listener.

Michael: Great. Start with the misdemeanors and then, we're gonna' push right on through to the lighter treasons. So, 1983...

Notapusy [3.4]

Gob: Hey, can you do me a favor? A young neighborhood tough by the name of Steve Holt will be dropping by, and...

Michael: Your son?

Gob: According to him.

Michael: And a DNA test.

Gob: I hear the jury's still out on science.

[During a work-out montage with Michael]

Steve Holt: There's no "I" in "win"!

Steve Holt: Don't ask "can I?," ask "I can!"

Steve Holt: You can control your bladder when you're dead!

Mr. F [3.5]

Michael: Besides, I already got George Michael the big present for his birthday...

George Michael: A suit! Dad, is it Jack Welch?

Michael: I want you to look under the pants.

George Michael: Quicken! Premiere! Dad, I hope you kept the receipt.

Michael: You want to return that?

George Michael: What? No, I want to deduct it.

Gob: Hey, maybe that's it. Maybe we should do to the Japanese what they do in their movies. Build a miniature city, put it outside the window, tell them it's far away. It'll look real if you squint. God knows they're squinters. [looks at Larry the surrogate] What do you think, Dad? A whole, tiny town.

George Sr./Larry: Another brilliant idea, Einstein.

Gob: Really? You'd like to build it with me?

George Sr./Larry: Larry really never knows how to sell the sarcasm. It's a stupid idea.

The Ocean Walker [3.6]

Rita: Are houses terribly hard to make?

Michael: Well, the hardest part is finding the land.

Rita: Instead of building houses, maybe you should be building land. On the ocean. There's no land on the ocean, Michael.

Michael: [pause] You are brilliant.

Narrator: Yeah. She wasn't.

[Michael has just revealed that he knows Rita is mentally challenged]

Rita: You found out.

Michael: Took me long enough.

Rita: Maybe you're not smart, either! I didn't know until they told me.

Prison Break-In [3.7]

Michael: Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange?

Buster: Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute!

Michael: I've opened a door here that I regret.

Lucille: Oh, he's just talking about his stupid turtle.

Buster: She has a name, Mother, and it's Mother.

Lucille: I want to cry so bad, but I don't think I can spare the moisture.

Making a Stand [3.8]

Lucille: And that goes into storage, right? Not into your apartment.

Painter: Qué?

Lucille: [to Michael] What's Spanish for "I know you speak English"?

Gob: I've got this Christian girlfriend now and she's trying to get me to be a better man and reconnect with my son and I'm trying to get her to renounce God and [bleep] me and I just want to prove to her that I'm worth it.

S.O.B.s [3.9]

Michael: That’s the point, Dad. Mr. Loblaw no longer works for us because someone wanted a boyfriend.

Tobias: Well, don’t blame me!

Michael: I was talking to Lindsay, actually, but he was clearly turned off to the both of you.

Lindsay: You know, Mom, I think the only time you cooked for us was the morning Rosa's mom died.

Buster: You gave us cereal in an ashtray.

Fakin' It [3.10]

Lucille: I just pray it's one of those things where he's unconscious through the whole trial and when he wakes up he gets BIG toy!

Michael: Did you do this, Mom? Did you put one of your own sons in a coma so he wouldn't testify?

Lucille: Michael, how dare you! Although the thought did cross my mind.

Michael: All of our family records are up here. And for some reason, this stack of bodybuilding magazines.

Tobias: Ha, well, I guess your dad must've had these from way back when. [opens magazine]

Family Ties [3.11]

George, Sr.: I just want my brother to envy my money, but he’s got that hair. Why can’t I have hair and money and him nothing?

Gob: The real problem is that she keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The... something of my ways. Wisdom?

Michael: It's probably wisdom.

Exit Strategy [3.12]

Richard Shaw: I’m sorry it took so long, but the Cheney Expressway was backed up all the way to Halliburton Road.

Buster: Let me go with you. I was trained by Army. I speak the language.

Michael: You speak Arabic?

Buster: La-ach-ha-tem.

Michael: What’s that mean?

Buster: No, I was just clearing my throat... but I think it actually does mean "laundry," but like a child’s laundry. We don’t really have a word for it.

Development Arrested [3.13]

Tobias: I should call the Hot Cops and tell them to dress up as something more nautically themed. Hot sailors, maybe. Or better yet, hot sea—

Michael: I like hot sailors.

Tobias: Mmmm. Me too.

Narrator: Although George Michael had only got to second base, he’d gone in head first, like Pete Rose.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Mumble

Lovelace

Ramon

Noah the Elder

Gloria

Miss Viola

Memphis

Norma Jean

Boss Skua

Dialogue

Songs

Taglines

Monday, May 18, 2009

Opening Crawl

Dialogue

Season 1

Pilot [1.1]

Top Banana [1.2]

Bringing Up Buster [1.3]

Key Decisions [1.4]

Visiting Ours [1.5]

Charity Drive [1.6]

In God We Trust [1.7]

My Mother, The Car [1.8]

Storming the Castle [1.9]

Pier Pressure [1.10]

Public Relations [1.11]

Marta Complex [1.12]

Beef Consommé [1.13]

Shock and Aww [1.14]

Staff Infection [1.15]

Missing Kitty [1.16]

Altar Egos (1) [1.17]

Justice is Blind (2) [1.18]

Best Man for the GOB [1.19]

Whistler’s Mother [1.20]

Not Without My Daughter [1.21]

Let 'Em Eat Cake [1.22]

Season 2

The One Where Michael Leaves [2.1]

The One Where They Build A House [2.2]

Amigos [2.3]

Good Grief [2.4]

Sad Sack [2.5]

Afternoon Delight [2.6]

Switch Hitter [2.7]

Queen For A Day [2.8]

Burning Love [2.9]

Ready, Aim, Marry Me [2.10]

Out on a Limb [2.11]

Hand to God [2.12]

Motherboy XXX [2.13]

Immaculate Election [2.14]

The Sword of Destiny [2.15]

Meat the Veals [2.16]

Spring Breakout [2.17]

Righteous Brothers [2.18]

Season 3

The Cabin Show [3.1]

For British Eyes Only [3.2]

Forget-Me-Now [3.3]

Notapusy [3.4]

Mr. F [3.5]

The Ocean Walker [3.6]

Prison Break-In [3.7]

Making a Stand [3.8]

S.O.B.s [3.9]

Fakin' It [3.10]

Family Ties [3.11]

Exit Strategy [3.12]

Development Arrested [3.13]

Lists Linked to Pages

Labels

Blog Archive

Subscribe To

Followers